November 26, 2012
QUOTABLES FROM "LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON" NOVEMBER 19 - NOVEMBER 22
WEB | HIGH | CART
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Here's what people are talking about. This is exciting. A company in Mexico called Grupo Bimbo may buy Hostess Brands, and continue making Twinkies and Ding Dongs. Though I found it weird when the CNN headline read, “Bimbo makes grab for Ding Dongs.
Did you guys see this? Last night at the American Music Awards, Jenny McCarthy grabbed Justin Bieber and gave him a kiss on stage. Or as Selena Gomez put it, "Is that supposed to be making me jealous?"
Check this out. Google has released a new map of space that includes the details of 100 thousand stars. And this is cool - turns out they're just like us!
This wasn’t good. Yesterday, iPhone users had trouble sending texts for about five hours. Yeah, it was a disaster – people had to actually call someone to lie about being “five minutes away.”
Some big news out of China. The Chinese president has just appointed new officials to the Chinese government, and apparently he chose some of the oldest leaders in the country’s history. Yeah he found them where you normally find old Chinese: In the back of the fridge. (Next to a half-eaten Yoplait and an open box of Arm & Hammer.)
And finally, a bakery in Chicago has started selling donuts with liquor-flavored filling. Which explains why today cops were like, (SLURRING) “You have the riiight to be ma beeest friend.”
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Here’s what people are talking about. After months of campaigning and Secret Service protection, a photo of Mitt Romney pumping his own gas was just posted online. Even worse for Romney, after people saw the photo, they were like, “Hey, I’d vote for THAT guy!” (Seems really down to earth!)
I just read that the turkey that will be pardoned by President Obama tomorrow is staying at the W Hotel in Washington, D.C. Unfortunately, the turkey spent the whole time complaining about how much the bucket of feed in the minibar cost.
Actually, once the turkey got into the mini-bar, he ended up getting TOTALLY basted. (It gets worse, turns out they had his favorite whiskey, Wild Human.)
This is cool. As part of a new clean energy program, Google just invested 75 million dollars in a wind farm in Iowa. Not to be outdone, Bing just invested 75 dollars in a pretty sweet fan for the conference room.
Hey, I want to say Happy Birthday to Vice President Joe Biden, who turned 70 years old today! Yeah, right after Biden made his birthday wish, he was like, (SERIOUS) “Let me ask you just one question - am I invisible right now?”
Get this, you guys. A new study found that certain species of monkeys actually experience a midlife crisis. Which explains that new book, "Curious George and the 20 Year Old Pilates Instructor.”
Did you see this? Yesterday, The Situation accidentally tweeted his cell phone number to his 1.4 million Twitter followers. At which point all 1.4 million twitter followers immediately blocked the number.
And finally – some major business news. Pabst Blue Ribbon might buy Hostess and start making HoHos and Twinkies. Yeah, beer and Twinkies - or as I called that in college, "brunch."
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Did you see this? Yesterday, Mitt Romney was spotted at Disneyland in California. Yeah, Romney even went on his favorite thrill ride - the monorail that brings you in from the parking lot. “This is my third time today! Hope I don’t throw up!” (Ha ha HA ha ha.)
Yeah, he was there for the unveiling of that new attraction: the Hall of Almost Presidents.
You could tell it was Romney, cuz he spent a lot of time with Snow White, but completely ignored Snow Black and Snow Latino.
Hey, Happy Birthday to “Call Me Maybe” singer Carly Rae Jepsen, who turned 27 today! Yeah, her friends sang “Happy Birthday” – or as it’s also known, “the only song that’s been played more than ‘Call Me Maybe.’”
Some big entertainment news, you guys. Today was the release of the movie “Life of Pi,” about a boy stranded on a lifeboat with a tiger. Or as Chris Christie put it, “Kind of a misleading title.”
Some more celebrity news. Kim Kardashian and her sisters just received the key to the city of North Miami. Which explains why everyone in North Miami just changed all their locks.
And finally, NASA announced that the Mars rover Curiosity has made a major discovery, but they won’t tell anyone what it is until they run more tests. Scientists are hoping the rover found signs of life, while Americans are just hoping it found some Twinkies.
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! To everyone here, I want to say Happy Thanksgiving! And to all my viewers at home, I just wanna say – thank you for leaving your TVs on NBC when you passed out at 9PM.
I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday. I don't wanna say I overate, but today I decided to change the name of the show to Here Comes Jimmy Boo Boo.
Actually I just read that Americans ate 46 million turkeys today. And those Americans are Chris Christie and Newt Gingrich.
How many of you spent the holiday with relatives? How many spent it on Ancestry.com to prove they're not your relatives?
Some celebrity news. It's been reported that Kevin Federline's ex-girlfriend is dating Britney Spears' ex-boyfriend. It's pretty serious - in fact today, I heard they just bought a set of what's-his-name and what's-her-name towels.
This isn’t good. Police in upstate New York are looking for a man who stole a truck that was carrying 350 Christmas trees. So keep that in mind over the next few weeks, if you see anyone selling a bunch of Christmas trees.
And finally, to improve security, Facebook is actually moving its users to a slower Internet connection. Or as AOL put it, “Welcome.”
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