NBC ENTERTAINMENT
NBC ENTERTAINMENT - PRESS RELEASES
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November 19, 2012
QUOTABLES FROM "LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON" NOVEMBER 12 - NOVEMBER 16 |
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Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Here’s what people are talking about. This weekend, it was announced that Justin Bieber and his girlfriend, Selena Gomez, have broken up. Yeah, Bieber said, “Just tell me one thing – is it General Patraeus?”
Yeah, everybody’s talking about this. The director of the CIA, General David Petraeus has resigned after it came out that he had an affair with the woman who wrote his biography. Yeah, getting caught was bittersweet for Petraeus – cuz he was like, “Damn that’s good investigative work!”
Hey, I want to wish a Happy Birthday to Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, who turned 26 years old yesterday. The party was a little embarrassing – when Sanchez had trouble blowing out the candles, his family started chanting for Tim Tebow.
Some big entertainment news. The James Bond movie “Skyfall” came in #1 this weekend with 88 million dollars. Yeah, it's about a spy who fights terrorists and sleeps with a lot of women. Critics are calling it "well-made," while David Petraeus is calling it, "relatable."
Here’s some local news out of New York. Mayor Bloomberg has proposed cutting eight million dollars from New York City’s libraries in order to balance the budget. Librarians were furious – they were like, (WHISPERING) “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is bull crap!”
Get this. After all the confusion at the polls in Florida last week, Governor Rick Scott said he will review ways to improve his state’s voting procedures. Yeah, it'll be the biggest thing Scott's done since he won that raffle to become governor.
Hey, this weekend, a slice of cake from the 1981 Royal Wedding sold at an auction for thirteen hundred dollars. Of course, if you really want a piece of cake made in 1981, you can just buy a Twinkie.
And finally, a new study found that the universe is no longer making as many stars as it used to. Or as American Idol put it, “Tell me about it.”
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Here’s what people are talking about. This weekend, it was announced that Justin Bieber and his girlfriend, Selena Gomez, have broken up. Yeah, Bieber said, “Just tell me one thing – is it General Patraeus?”
Yeah, everybody’s talking about this. The director of the CIA, General David Petraeus has resigned after it came out that he had an affair with the woman who wrote his biography. Yeah, getting caught was bittersweet for Petraeus – cuz he was like, “Damn that’s good investigative work!”
Hey, I want to wish a Happy Birthday to Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, who turned 26 years old yesterday. The party was a little embarrassing – when Sanchez had trouble blowing out the candles, his family started chanting for Tim Tebow.
Some big entertainment news. The James Bond movie “Skyfall” came in #1 this weekend with 88 million dollars. Yeah, it's about a spy who fights terrorists and sleeps with a lot of women. Critics are calling it "well-made," while David Petraeus is calling it, "relatable."
Here’s some local news out of New York. Mayor Bloomberg has proposed cutting eight million dollars from New York City’s libraries in order to balance the budget. Librarians were furious – they were like, (WHISPERING) “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is bull crap!”
Get this. After all the confusion at the polls in Florida last week, Governor Rick Scott said he will review ways to improve his state’s voting procedures. Yeah, it'll be the biggest thing Scott's done since he won that raffle to become governor.
Hey, this weekend, a slice of cake from the 1981 Royal Wedding sold at an auction for thirteen hundred dollars. Of course, if you really want a piece of cake made in 1981, you can just buy a Twinkie.
And finally, a new study found that the universe is no longer making as many stars as it used to. Or as American Idol put it, “Tell me about it.”
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Here’s what people are talking about. Today People magazine announced that Channing Tatum is 2012’s Sexiest Man Alive. While Florida will announce their results sometime next week.
Some more entertainment news. It’s rumored that “Dancing With the Stars” pro Cheryl Burke may be the next star of “The Bachelorette.” You know, a place where a bunch of dudes try to win the affection of one lady. Or as they call that in Washington, the “Pentagon.”
Man, this David Patraeus scandal shows no signs of stopping. And in a weird twist, a jogger recently found the driver’s license of his mistress, Paula Broadwell, in a park. He knew it was her driver’s license cuz under “Sex,” it said, “Lots, with David Petraeus.”
This isn’t good. It looks like another East Coast storm could arrive by next Wednesday, which is the busiest travel day of the year. Yeah, it could prevent millions of people from visiting their relatives – but there's also a downside to it.
Some political news. It turns out that Democrats are actually considering Mitt Romney’s tax plan as a way to avoid the fiscal cliff. Yeah, three weeks ago Obama was like, “Mitt Romney has terrible ideas!” Now he’s like, “Hey, you gonna finish those ideas?”
Some business news. The president of Microsoft Windows is stepping down after 23 years with the company. Though I thought it was a little weird that his resignation letter just said, “Control-Alt-Delete.”
Listen to this. A new study found that eating healthier food can improve your memory right away. Unfortunately, the first thing you remember is how much better unhealthy food tastes.
And finally, I just read that there will be a three-percent increase in the price of turkey for Thanksgiving this year. Or as fat chickens put it, “Uh-oh.”
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Here’s what people are talking about. Yesterday, President Obama gave his first press conference since being re-elected, and a lot of people are saying it looked like he was trying to cover up some of his gray hair. So I guess Obama’s major goals include jobs for women and Just for Men.
Some more news out of Washington. During his final speech on the House floor yesterday, 77-year-old Congressman Ron Paul said the Constitution has failed. Which must be a bummer, since he's actually one of the guys who signed it.
This is cool. Tonight, President Obama hosted a screening of the new movie “Lincoln” at the White House. Yeah, after the movie Joe Biden was like, “Whoa -- I did NOT see that ending coming!” (Was anyone else surprised??)
Speaking of Obama, the president has declared today “America Recycles Day.” Which reminds me: Obama hosted a screening of “Lincoln” at the White House. And after the movie Biden was like, “I did NOT see that ending coming!”
I’m so excited you guys – we have Katie Holmes, comedian Russell Peters, and Amazon founder Jeff Bezos on the show tonight! And this is cool – since we booked Jeff Bezos in advance, he was delivered with free shipping and handling!
Check this out. A new survey found that nine percent of Americans have their childhood dream job. Wow, I had no idea there were so many Ghostbusters.
I heard that Facebook and the Department of Labor have teamed up for a new app that displays job openings. Though it’ll be weird when people find a job because of Facebook, then get fired from that job for using Facebook, then use Facebook to find another job… (SINGING) IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIFE!
And finally, this week, Pope Benedict made a surprise visit to a retirement home near the Vatican. You know, cuz if there’s one thing people in a retirement home like, it’s surprises.
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! I’m so excited, you guys. We have Carson Daly on the show tonight! We also have Helen Mirren! I’m sorry— Dame Carson Daly.
Here’s what people are talking about. This is big. Hostess, the maker of Ding Dongs and HoHos, has announced it is going out of business. Now the only place you can find HoHos or Ding Dongs is at the Pentagon.
This isn’t good. Yesterday, the Post Office announced that it lost a record 15.9 billion dollars last year. Personally, I blame the guy who tried to mail 15.9 billion dollars. (You should at least FedEx it or something, get a tracking number.)
Here’s a big story. Black Friday is one week away. And Walmart workers are planning a huge walkout to protest the store's decision to open early on Thanksgiving. Yeah, so now when you walk into the store, you'll have to welcome yourself. (TALKING TO SELF: “Welcome to Walmart” “Thank you very much!” “I like your shirt.” “Thank you, I got it at Walmart.”
Listen to this, you guys. Mitt Romney is now claiming that he lost the election because President Obama gave “gifts” like healthcare and student loan forgiveness to young voters and minorities. Yeah, giving voters stuff to improve their lives – or as that’s also known, “being the freaking President.”
Some more political news. I read that Joseph Lhota, the head of New York’s subway system, may run for mayor next year. Yeah, it’s gonna create some weird attack ads; (ATTACK AD) “Joseph Lhota SAYS he wants to (MUFFLED SUBWAY VOICE), but he actually wants to (MUFFLED SUBWAY VOICE).”
This is interesting. A new study found that being in a stable relationship can add years to your life. Which is great news for the rest of us and terrible news for Taylor Swift.
Actually, it’s rumored that Taylor Swift and her boyfriend, Conor Kennedy, faked their recent breakup. Or as Kim Kardashian put it, “Psssh, talk to me when you fake a whole marriage.”
Here’s some sports news. In a new interview, more than a dozen Jets players and officials criticized Tim Tebow for not improving this season. It's not good – even God is like, "That guy is KILLING my fantasy team!"
And finally, a woman in California just gave birth to the heaviest set of triplets in the world. Which explains why their first words were, “Whatya mean there’s no Twinkies?”
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