November 12, 2012
QUOTABLES FROM "LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON" NOVEMBER 5 - NOVEMBER 9
WEB | HIGH | CART
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Here’s what people are talking about. After months of buildup and anticipation, the election is just one day away – which also means only one more day of campaign ads! I’m Jimmy Fallon, and I definitely approve that message.
There’s a bunch of theories going around about who’s going to win tomorrow. And one study shows that President Obama has an 86 percent chance of winning the election. Yeah, I don’t wanna say Obama’s getting cocky, but today, his last stop on the campaign trail was to see a matinee of "Wreck-It-Ralph.”
Actually, I heard the election results might not even be official until early in the morning on Wednesday. Which will be weird, when one guy's like, "This is Tom Brokaw - and I apologize for my footy pajamas." (They’re very comfy and cozy. They’re flannel, and they have little grippy things on the feet that keep me from slipping and sliding around!)
Did you guys see this? Yesterday, Paul Ryan went tailgating at a Packers game with two of Mitt Romney’s sons. Yeah, Romney was gonna go himself, until someone told him what “tailgating” was.
This is cool. Today, Bruce Springsteen got to fly on Air Force One while he traveled to campaign rallies with President Obama. Though it got kind of awkward when Obama, Springsteen, and the pilot argued about who gets to be called "the boss." (BRUCE) “It's my nickname!” (OBAMA) “Well, I'm the president!” (PILOT) “I'M the pilot!”
And finally, I just read about a woman in Indiana who is selling a series of paintings that were made by her horse. And even weirder, they’re nudes. (Tasteful nudes.)
Of course, today everyone was busy looking at all the different numbers, trying to figure out who voted for which candidate. And this is interesting, it turns out that President Obama beat Mitt Romney by 38 points among single women. Yeah, they say it’s because of Obama’s final campaign slogan, “Hope and Pinot Grigio.”
The President also got help in the election last night with 70 percent of the Jewish vote. When Jewish voters heard their support for Obama was so high, they were like, “Eh, coulda been better.”
It was such a hard fought election and Mitt Romney didn’t give up easy. In fact, the Romney campaign would not concede Ohio, even after every major network declared Obama the winner. You could tell Romney was desperate, when he said, "Let's wait and see what the Food Network has to say. Bam! You lost Mitt, get over it!
And I don’t know what to make of this. There’s talk that ABC news anchor Diane Sawyer seemed drunk on the air last night. And it was kinda weird – Sawyer was like, “Breaking news – we are now calling … my ex-boyfriend Nick to see what HE’S up to these days.”
Hey, this is big you guys. Last night Colorado became the first state to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. You can tell Colorado's weed-friendly, cuz they just renamed that one team the Denver McNuggets.
Yeah, Colorado legalized marijuana. It’s good news for Obama – in fact, he’s expected to create over 6 million jobs in the hacky-sack industry.
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Here’s what people are talking about. It’s been two days, and Florida still hasn’t finished counting all the votes from Tuesday night’s election. Of course, it'll be weird when they're finally done and are like, "And the winner is - Al Gore??"
This is a little embarrassing. On Tuesday night, Mitt Romney’s staff briefly published his victory website by mistake. Yeah, Republicans called it, “an embarrassing error,” while Big Bird called it, “the scariest two minutes of my life.”
Listen to this, after the election there are now a record number of Latino’s in Congress, which has a lot more Americans talking about immigration reform. Yeah, Americans seem to be in favor of it – while immigrants are still on the fence.
This isn’t good, if Congress does nothing, the US could go off of a so-called “fiscal cliff” that could cause another worldwide financial collapse like the one in 2008. Congress had a lot of questions about that scenario, like, "What do you mean IF we do nothing?"
Yeah everybody’s really excited about Robert Pattinson being here. In fact backstage, I asked him to sign a Twilight poster for my niece…Her name is Jimmy.
And finally, Google just launched a new service called Free Zone, that will help millions of people in developing countries get Internet access. Not to be confused with that other Internet “Free Zone” – when your neighbor forgets to put a password on his WiFi.
Welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Here’s what people are talking about. There’s a video going around of President Obama getting choked up and crying while he thanked his campaign staff after the election. When Mitt Romney saw the video, he was like, “What is that clear liquid coming out of his eyes? Is he leaking?”
Speaking of Mitt Romney, now that he’s out of the presidential race, he will no longer receive protection from the Secret Service. Or as Big Bird put it, (TOUGH) “’Sup!”
There’s also a rumor that Romney will write a tell-all book based on the diary he kept on the campaign trail. You know, in case you ever wondered what Ambien looks like in book form.
Did you guys hear about this? It was just announced that the Pope is gonna be on Twitter. We actually got a hold of some of his first tweets. Take a look at some of these:
TWEET 1: “I wish I had kept the sticker on my Pope hat – would have been so much cooler. Maybe I’ll swing by the new Lids at the mall after work.”
This next one is just weird:
TWEET 2: “what if I made my own brand of popcorn but called it POPECORN? Lolololol”
I guess the pope can be a diva sometimes. Look at this one:
TWEET 3: “Who do I have to canonize to get a decent latte around here?’
TWEET 4: “@KimKardashian you up??”
This wasn’t good. Yesterday, thousands of people complained on Twitter after Facebook went down for 60 seconds. Which is funny, cuz it reminded me of the time my great-grandparents complained about having to make soup out of shoes during World War II.
And finally, researchers in Canada have found evidence of a two-ton dinosaur that had horns all over its face. Yeah, they’re saying it’s a distant cousin to that other horny dinosaur: Hugh Hefner.
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